“Get over your sadness, you’ve got Male Pattern Badness— go down to the beach and work on your tan.”
Every file carries embedded artwork and full credits — ID3v2.3 on the MP3 so car head units read it, Vorbis comments on the FLAC. © 2026 Bradley Records.
I ain’t got a pocketful of dead presidents
like some Mafioso Don,
And I can’t rule the whole wide world
Like old Napoleon.
I’m tired of my old big mama,
And like Tony Bennett might’ve done,
Find me some tattooed Lady Gaga—
Lord, I’m ready for some fun.
My soul is willing,
But the flesh is weak,
So somebody tell me—
What’s the latest tweet?
Get over your sadness,
You’ve got Male Pattern Badness.
Go down to the beach
And work on your tan.
Male Pattern Badness,
It’s a middle-aged madness,
Spend your children’s inheritance
As fast as you can.
If I take my own advice
And enjoy this crisis of mid-life,
There are just a few little things
I really ought to do.
I’ll ditch my nagging hag,
Buy me a burgundy Jag,
Get a beach house with a hot tub
Made for two.
Male Pattern Badness,
My middle-aged madness,
I’m a fellow, I’m mellow,
I’m down in the sand.
Male Pattern Badness,
I need me a love nest,
My harem won’t allow
No wedding bands.
I’m filled up with gladness,
My Male Pattern Badness
Has got me on the beach
With all my latest fans!
Male Pattern Badness,
It’s a middle-aged madness,
I’m spending my children’s inheritance
As fast as I can.
Male Pattern Badness,
That middle-aged madness—
I’m spending my children’s inheritance
As fast as I can.